Sleep Resources
Sleep Guide for Parents: Newborns, Infants, Toddlers, and Teens
Learn all about how to help your child sleep from infancy to teenage years. Plus, learn about how you can get better sleep as a parent.
Please note: While we’re experts when it comes to mattresses, we are not doctors. It’s always recommended that you consult with your doctor when it comes to choosing whether or not co-sleeping is right for you.
As a new parent, getting enough sleep is a critical concern for both parents and baby. Looking for ways to sleep more than thirty minutes at a time, many couples may bring their children into bed with them—a practice called co-sleeping.
Over the years, co-sleeping has had mixed reviews. While some parents focus on the benefits of co-sleeping such as getting more rest, easily breastfeeding, and ultimately spend more time together as a family, others are quick to point out the cons of co-sleeping and express concerns about safety, sleep, and quality of relationships for couples. In this guide, we aim to provide the information you need to decide whether or not co-sleeping is the right choice for your family.
At Mattress Advisor, we understand that your child’s safety is a top priority, and we are here to provide tips and guidelines for creating a safe co-sleeping environment.
If you’re considering co-sleeping, but don’t know what factors to take into account when making your decision, this guide is for you!
But first, let’s start with unpacking what co-sleeping really is.
Co-sleeping is a broad category that includes sleeping arrangements where parents sleep in the same room or the same bed as the child.
While co-sleeping is often perceived as just snuggling up to your little one each night, there is actually a wide variety of co-sleeping arrangements.
Bed Sharing: | Known as the standard for co-sleeping. As the name suggests, this is when the baby or toddler shares the same bed with one or both parents. |
Sidecar Arrangement: | In this sleep arrangement, the child has a separate surface to sleep on that’s adjacent to the parent’s bed, similar to a sidecar on a motorcycle. A co-sleeper bassinet (which can be made or purchased pre-made) or a crib is placed against the parent’s bed. The bassinet or crib can be either 3-sided or 4-sided with one short wall, having the open or short side facing the parent’s bed. |
A Shared Room but Separate Beds: | Room sharing in different beds allows for the parents and children to have their own separate sleeping spaces. |
As-Needed: | For struggling sleepers or frequent nightmare offenders who may wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble falling back asleep, so they go to their parents’ bed. As indicated, this is not an everyday situation and usually involves older children. |
No matter what sleeping arrangement you choose for your child and yourself, parents must be centrally focused on ensuring their safety.
If you choose to co-sleep, the first steps are to talk to your pediatrician and a thorough discussion between both parents.
For safer bed-sharing, babies should be over 4 months and sleeping with a breastfeeding mother who does not smoke, has not consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours, and is not impaired by drugs or sleep-inducing medications. Lauren Garmon, a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and Sleep Consultant certified by the Family Sleep Institute
Room sharing is an option for those parents who want to stay close to their infants while still providing the baby with its own space. However, the same safety precautions are necessary regardless if you choose to co-sleep or room share.
Find a mattress that may work for you and your family. Check out our best mattresses for couples.
While today, co-sleeping is a buzzword in the parenting realm with lots of differing opinions surrounding the topic, co-sleeping has been practiced for a long time in Collectivist cultures, like Japan, who have been sharing sleeping quarters for decades.
In the 20th century, attachment parenting became more widespread across the Western world and individualist cultures.
Since then, more parents and scientists have been examining co-sleeping and comparing it to the separate sleeping structure.
To learn more about culture and sleep, check out our Sleep in Different Cultures article.
Stemming from the increased popularity of co-sleeping is the principle that parents want to be involved in their child’s development and respond to their growing children’s needs.
While parents may have found a strengthened bond between themselves and their child, there is a chance the couple’s relationship can deteriorate if neglected. The intensified focus on the child and parenting and the child’s presence in the couple’s bed decreases the chances of intimacy between partners.
Not sure if having your child co-sleep with you is best for your family? Check out our Best Crib Mattresses article to keep your baby comfy in their own crib.
There is no one simple answer as to whether co-sleeping is a good idea. How co-sleeping affects different families will vary.
We’ll explore the pros and cons of a co-sleeping arrangement in relation to the effects it may have on your relationships with child and partner.
One of the largest reasons parents are interested in co-sleeping is to form a bond with their newborn baby. This co-sleeping arrangement also adds some convenience for the parent.
Lauren Garmon, a nurse practitioner and Family Sleep Institute certified sleep consultant, says co-sleeping allows for easy breastfeeding, reduces the risk of bed-sharing on a couch or recliner which is more dangerous than a properly prepared bed, can increase maternal sleep quantity and can reduce infant crying and waking.
Of course, there are two sides to the argument—co-sleeping could also interfere with your child developing healthy, independent sleep habits. Dr. Chris North of SleepStandards.com describes this problem as developing sleep crutches. “Always having a parent around at bedtime can become a strong sleep onset association, also called a sleep crutch or sleep prop—something your kid can’t drift off without,” says Dr. North.
Keep reading to weigh the pros and cons in relation to the parent-child relationship.
When it comes to what co-sleeping can do to your relationship with your partner, there are also both advantages and disadvantages.
Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a marriage counselor, says the parent can act as a 'human pacifier,' making it difficult for the baby to 'self-soothe' during the night.
Marriage Counselor, Dr. Wyatt Fisher finds that there are a few things to consider when deciding if co-sleeping will work for your family.
“First, consider the toll it will most likely take on your relationship and brainstorm how you could keep your connection and intimacy alive if you decide to co-sleep. Second, because co-sleeping can be so damaging to the relationship and potentially to the child’s independent development, consider alternatives.”
According to the American Psychological Association, between 40-50% of marriages fail after just 6 years.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what is best for your family. Many families around the world have had great success with co-sleeping. Having your baby or toddler sleep in your room or in your bed can provide comfort, encourage bonding, and enhance sleep quality for some families.
Though, t is still important to give you both sides of the argument if you’re contemplating a decision. Co-sleeping requires certain safety precautions and it can have an effect on your family dynamic, whether that’s between you and your partner or your child’s relationship with his or her parents.
Whatever sleep arrangement you choose for your family, remember that getting a good night’s sleep is needed for the physical and mental wellbeing of parents and their children. Keep browsing on MattressAdvisor.com to find all the sleep resources your family needs.
Comments (0)