What Does Cheating in Your Dreams Mean?

You have a dream where you or your spouse is getting intimate with someone outside of your relationship. This begs the question, what does cheating in your dreams mean?

By Nicole Gleichmann

Our dream life can differ dramatically from our waking life. Yet, as anyone who studies dream interpretation can tell you, dreams about infidelity can often be a warning sign that something isn’t quite right.

Even if you believe that both you and your partner are physically faithful in real life, dreams about infidelity can signal unresolved feelings. What these feelings might be can differ dramatically depending upon which way the dream cheating happened.

couple sleeping woman with sleep headphones on

Scenario 1: Cheating on Your Partner in a Dream

You wake up, hot, sweaty, and weighed down with feelings of guilt and self-betrayal. You’ve had a dream where you were cheating on your partner, and you wonder what it means and if you should tell anyone.

Cheating on your partner in your dreams might make you feel guilty, like you’ve compromised your beliefs or integrity. This stems from a belief that your integrity is tied to your thoughts, rather than your actions.

Related: The function of dreams

Remember, cheating on your partner is a common dream. It might mean that you find someone else attractive, that you could use some more action, or that you’re feeling extra confident and desirable…a bit like you deserve that romp in the hay with Brad Pitt.

Don’t waste your time and attention feeling guilty for an unconscious rendezvous. Instead, go and have a similar adventure in the flesh with your lover. It might even be that some more intimacy could calm down your sleeping adventures…just don’t be too hard on yourself if that’s not the case.

Scenario 2: Your Partner Cheats on You in a Dream

Dreams that your partner is cheating on you are a bit more of a warning sign.

When people dream that their significant other is cheating, there can be a few forces at play. The first can be feelings of insecurity manifesting in worries that the one you love most might decide to leave you for someone else, even if only temporarily.

What type of insecurity can this represent? That is all quite individual, but some possibilities include:

  • Personal insecurities: You might feel unattractive or unsuccessful and worry that your partner may feel the same way.
  • Relationship insecurities: You may feel like your connection with your partner is losing its strength. You might feel disconnected or like you don’t share enough in common anymore.
  • Fear of abandonment: Another insecurity that you might have is a fear of people leaving you. Maybe you’ve experienced this in past romantic relationships or even with family or friends.

Another similar cause is feeling underappreciated. When we don’t feel like our partners appreciate us for who we are and what we bring to the table, we can worry that they might simply take the easy way out and leave us.

Lastly, this type of dream often represents a lack of trust. Maybe your partner has cheated on you before, or you worry that they will in the future. Paying attention to this kind of dream allows you to determine the root cause.

Related: Other types of dreams

Have a discussion with your partner about the underlying problems that you determine your dream represents. Then, spend some time at work to address these to help build the strength and health of your relationship.

Final Thoughts

Cheating in a dream can mean different things depending on who is cheating. When you are the one cheating, it is often simply a natural outlet for sexual desires. While it might signal that you should work on ramping up your sex life in real life, it rarely signals something deeper. But when your partner cheats on you in a dream, it is time to get to the root cause of the dream and work to improve your relationship and your emotional wellbeing.

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