Addressing 4 Fears Over Sharing a Sleep Space

Sharing a bed with your significant other for the first time can be stressful! Tackle these fears head on so your sleep quality doesn't suffer.

Shot of a happy young couple laying under a duvet together in bed

You’ve done it. You’ve taken the next step in your relationship, and you’re moving in together. Congratulations! There are so many things to look forward to (Netflix all-nighters, sharing leftovers, one electric bill), but a few things you’re probably nervous about – like sharing a sleeping space.

Luckily, plenty of others are in the same situation – sharing the bittersweet feeling of excitement and stress that comes with taking this leap. Here’s how to address some of those gnawing anxieties about sharing your bed with someone else.

I’m a light sleeper. What if my partner wakes me up all the time?

Newlyweds Laura Leigh and Joshua Elliot were lucky enough to experience very few problems when moving into a shared sleep space, but one thing Josh noted was, “On occasion, Laura Leigh can be restless throughout the night which keeps me up.”

Laura Leigh and her husband, Joshua, hugging in a park
Laura Leigh and Joshua Elliot | Photo by Apt. B Photography – https://www.aptbphoto.com

One solution to this common problem is to consider using separate blankets. The constant tugging and hogging can’t be helping either of you get a good night’s rest. Plus, this gives each person the opportunity to use the type of comforter they prefer.

Consider using separate blankets

Another solution is to consider getting a new mattress. Perfect segue to…

We need a new mattress. How do we even go about doing that?  

You have soo come to the right place. One thing that could be keeping couples from enjoying their sleep space is having the wrong mattress. Couples with smaller, older mattresses can feel every little kick or roll from their partner, which can lead to restless nights and poor sleep quality.

Features like memory foam will help dull the movements of your partner. And king mattresses are ideal if you don’t want to know someone’s lying next to you. However, some sleepers like to feel their partner close by. “I love cuddling up to my guy each night,” says Laura Leigh. There’s a lot to consider when selecting the right mattress for two. Check out our guide to the best mattresses for couples to get a better idea of what to look for.

What do I do about some heavy duty snoring?

This issue has plagued houses for generations. A snoring significant other can be a nightmare if you don’t know a few tricks.

Some people tend to snore more when first falling asleep. So if you’re a heavy sleeper and your SO is the snoring culprit, try to get to bed before them so you don’t even notice their nighttime chainsaw impression.

Portrait of woman blocking ears with hands while man snoring on bed

However, if the offender starts up in the middle of the night remember one thing – they can’t help it. Try to calm your anger and gently nudge them to their side. If you can, put a pillow against their back to keep them from finding their way back to their back – a snore’s favorite position.

What if we just don’t mesh well in our sleep space?

As newlyweds, Josh and Laura Leigh recommend, “Couples need to talk out their issues and preferences so they are on the same page.” If you’re not getting along in your sleep space, there might be more going on than “she’s a cover hog.”

Couples need to talk out their issues and preferences so they are on the same page.

And adding sleep deprivation to a situation is not going to help either of you. There are definite correlations between sleep and relationship satisfaction. Sleeping together can improve intimacy, but above all, you need to consider the health risks of losing a good night’s rest.

Charming beautiful couple in love making the bed together and having fun.

In 2015, a National Sleep Foundation survey found that as many as 25% of couples reported sleeping in separate beds and 10 percent of couples reported sleeping in separate bedrooms. This may not be an option for some couples, but many have found it to be a relationship saver.

Every couple is different so every sleeping space will be different. As Josh and Laura Leigh suggest, “Give it some time to adjust and figure out the sleeping preference of each person. Once you have a few weeks under your belt then you know what works and does not work for each other.”

Just like deciding which drawer to keep the forks in and what to do with that beanbag chair from college, moving into a shared space takes time and patience. Enjoy learning about one another and how to bring it all together.


Laura Leigh Elliot, founder of Louella Reese blog, is a fashion and lifestyle blogger based in Charlotte, NC. After starting her career in the pharmaceutical industry, she created the Louella Reese blog to serve as a creative outlet. In 2017, she took on blogging full time. Laura Leigh and Joshua have been married and sharing a sleep space for 2 years.

Photo of Laura Leigh standing by an azalea bush
Photo by Kristin Bishop Day Photography – www.kristenbishopday.com